Dear SUV owners,

I appreciate that your vehicle’s undercarriage sits higher off the ground than mine, but this does not give you the right to ignore entrance and exit protocols from parking lots and the like in favor of driving over lawns and medians just so you can get onto the road faster. I know in your mind, you’re emulating your favorite SUV commercial where you’re driving in slow motion and the sunset in the distance is hitting all the red dirt you’re kicking up just right, and cowboys and construction workers are all watching you because you’re so cool, but in real life, you are actually sort of a giant penis with ears. So, please, stop driving over my lawn and stuff.

Thank you,

Jinkeez

— Jinkeez on fark.com